Tuesday, September 27, 2011

i loike~


Katakanlah (Muhammad), 'Wahai manusia! Jika kamu masih dalam keragu-raguan tentang agamaku, maka (ketahuilah) aku tidak menyembah apa yang kamu sembah selain Allah, tetapi aku menyembah Allah yang akan mematikan kamu dan aku telah diperintah agar termasuk dalam orang yang beriman
Yunus 11:104

Dan ikutilah apa yang diwahyukan kepadamu, dan bersabarlah hingga Allah memberi keputusan. Dia-lah Hakim yang terbaik
Yunus 11:109


Friday, September 23, 2011

mis mis oh mistake

mistakes? That is one thing that I'm good at, and always felt bad about it.
It always bother me because of the fact that I'm scared to do any mistakes because then, I'm not perfect. But, that's the biggest mistake that I've done, right? Nobody in this world is perfect or near to perfection. Nevertheless, I hate mistakes, especially the ones that gonna make me look dumb or anything along that line. Haihhh... But to share,
always make new mistakes
Found this quotation pasted up on someone's wall. It really is inspiring... What I interpreted from this quote is that, it's okay to make mistakes... That way, you'll learn from it, and become more matured due to the experience that you might face from the mistakes you had made.

One more thing to highlight is the use of the word NEW. Every mistake that we made, we're supposed to learn from it and not to repeat the SAME mistake in the future.

^^

because we're one


Jaejoong's thought on suicide.

I'm feeling a little depressed lately because of the workloads and other not-so-good news which strangely occur frequently these days . T___T
*eyes puffed up due to a severe breakdown*



Q. “Did you ever think about suicide?”

“I felt sad and upset for the people that had to leave this world in such a manner. Suicide is something that hurts so many people and I think that it just shouldn't ever happen.

Q. “You went through a lot of hardships yourself. What was the most painful for you, and how did you overcome it?”

Every person feels loneliness and is met with a hardship that’s hard to endure. While living life, there are, of course, weights that you feel are only weighing down on you. It’s not a matter of how good or bad the environment you’re living in is, but rather a sort of misery that every person experiences while living life. IN that regards, I, too, have experienced much sadness and loneliness, and the way I overcame those feelings was to love the world I’m living in and think preciously of my work, my loving members, and my family. I also earn strength from my fans. I plan on thanking every day I live for in the future as well.”


Q. “How do you feel hearing about fellow celebrities committing suicide?”

“It was just shocking and an unbelievable reality. I was upset.”

Q. “Do you know any celebrities that are going through depression?”

“I don’t know. They say that depression isn’t something shown on the outside, as people that are depressed as usually bright on the outside and feel depressed when they’re alone. Instead of people that say outright, ‘I’m lonely’, I think it’s more important to care for those that are trying harder than normal to look positive. And as the oldest hyung, I think more than anything, I should be responsible for the psychological health of my members more so than other celebrities.”

Q. “If you were to ever have a fan that was thinking of suicide, what would you say?”

“I believe that our fans won’t think of suicide because I feel that if they listen to our songs, they’ll feel too happy and that their depression will disappear. In our recent album release, there are two songs titled ‘A Boy’s Letter’ and ‘You’re’. They’re both songs written for our fans so we hope that they’ll listen to them when they’re feeling depressed or lonely and hopefully feel consoled. We’re together inside of our music. Please also think of the precious people in your lives and be happy for even the smallest of things. With such a mindset, I’m sure that you’ll feel more affectionate towards your life. The beautiful sky, your mother’s delicious food, and your pet’s cute aegyo are all wonderful things in life.”

ilndr.jpg


Q. “What do you think society needs to do in order to prevent suicide?”

“I think as we go on in our society, people feel more alone than ever. They begin to box themselves up and are afraid of other people coming in their zone. The world keeps making people depend on only themselves and promotes competition amongst one another, but people think that’s what success is so they follow it while losing their freedom and deepening their depression. I hope that we’ll change the atmosphere so that we can prevent such a society.”

Q. “Do you have anything to say to those that are suffering to the point of thinking about suicide?”

Think of hope the minute you feel miserable with your life. Take up the habit of finding joy in the smallest of things in life. The misery you feel now will be a strong foundation for your future and you will become someone with an invaluable life. Also, hold the hand of the person next to you. Don’t think that you’re the only one living in this world. Don’t grow your sorrow on your own and ask for help from the person next to you.


So, let's all cheer up! And turn that frown upside down~~!! XD

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

get out



And it's finally out!!! Without warning, for me, that is. But apparently, a news about it came out the day before yesterday, so yeah, blame my IB life.

All I've got to say NOW is IT IS AWESOMEEEEE!


*back to IB life*

....will edit this some other time....

till next time, annyeong yeoreobun~ ^^

Saturday, September 17, 2011

a page a day

This would be a short one.
Yesterday, while listening to the radio, I heard a tazkirah...
Well, the thing that I want to highlight from that is:

Rugilah kalau ada orang yang dalam sehari, dia tak sentuh/ bacapun al-Quran. Tapi, kalau ada orang macam ni, and dia tak rasa bersalah langsung pun, bertaubatlah. Istighfar banyak2.

Moral of the story is at least baca al-Quran sepotong ayat sehari pun takpe. Tapi, jangan tak baca langsung! NEVER EVER!


peringatan untuk sesiapa yang baca, and most importantly untuk diri sendiri jugak.
insyaAllah ",

Friday, September 16, 2011

the story behind "in heaven"


Much of us already know this. That Jaejoong wrote this song (In Heaven) for his best friend, Park Yongha who committed suicide. (R.I.P Park Yongha, June 30, 2010)


But there is a greater meaning behind the lyrics and the MV. T.T I cried because of this... you must be in great pain Jaejoong-ah. Stay strong!

So, what is it with the lyrics? Isn't it about a girl wanting to separate, but the boy don't want to? And what about the MV? Isn't it about a guy who care about his work more than his girlfriend and when she died, he was given a second chance and he did his best till in the end, both of them are in heaven? (fiuhhh this is the full summary of the 6+ minutes MV)

The answers to these questions are yes and yes, but Jaejoong originally wrote this song for his friend and there's a true story and it is a tragic one.

Jaejoong composed this song to show that everyone has feelings of regret. This song was inspired by actor Park Yongha’s passing. The day before Park Yongha committed suicide, he called Jaejoong to go out for a drink, but since Jaejoong was in the US, recording for the album, he had to pass up on the offer, saying that they would go out for drinks when he got back. Unfortunately, he was unable to make good on the offer as the next day, Park Yonghwa committed suicide, much to Jaejoong’s shock.


It’s really a heartbreaking one. Jaejoong must feel regretful because of this. Unlike the MV, Jaejoong wasn’t given “a second chance” like Junsu had gotten and that he and Yongha are permanently separated from each other. Nawwwww, I want to cry~

T.T

in heaven

Tracklist:
01 Get Out
02 In Heaven (Narr. Kim Jeongeun)
03 낙엽 (Fallen Leaves)
04 소년의 편지 (Boy’s Letter)
05 Mission
06 I.D.S (I Deal Scenario)
07 Pierrot
08 You’Re
09 Nine
10 이름 없는 노래 PART 1 (The Song Without A Name)
It's finally out!!! Well, I've got to say that JYJ gonna make it big. They'll blow your mind! haha (Suju too, fighting!) Oh, please let JYJ perform on music shows. Imma make a riot if they still don't let my 3 boys perform on decent music shows. Such talent like them, won't it be a waste if they don't let them perform????? Jaejoong-ah, himnae! (TN: be strong!) I know you are strong, and I know you can get through this. Whatever it is, I'll be by your side. NO MATTER WHAT.
About the song in heaven itself, I love the idea of including the narration by Kim Jung-eun.
*I think I've seen her somewhere*
I like the emotion she portrayed. She managed to pull it off! I cried listening to this song. It's about two lovers; the girl wanting to leave, and the boy just can't let her go and insist her to love him again, like she used to do. But, the behind story of this song also touches my heart. Jaejoong made this song for Park Yong-hwa, a best friend of his, who decided to take his own life not long ago. It must have been very hard for Jaejoong; that's why he's always full of emotion when he sing this song.
*this makes me nosebleed*
In terms of the MV, I like the story line. Junsu-Jihyo love story is soooo sweet! <3 I managed to *forcefully* show this MV to my classmates, and the response was all good! haha (A/N: thank you classmates, for showing support T.T)
Now, I can't wait for Get Out MV. All 3 of the boys will be featured in it (+ their super cool cars). Imma dieeeee >____<
So, here's what I'm going to highlight in this post in the first place. Sorry for getting carried away... T.T
In heaven Translation
Narration:
Woman: I'm going to leave now
YC: Can’t you stay by my side?
Woman: I'm going to come back so...
YC: Liar, liar
Woman: No, don't you know how much I love you
YC: Can't you show that love to me right now?
Woman: I love you
YC: Can't we love again?
JJ: As of right now, I can't say anything
The miracle of you- it all seems like a fantasy
The last image of you seems to be locked only in my memories
YC: I wonder if you are watching me from somewhere
Even if I regret, it's too late- I can't see you anymore
The tears of the shadows of my memories are watching over that place
JJ: I can't say those words, I really can't- as much as you were by my side
I'm sorry but I can't- everything comes shaking back to me now
JS: By waiting a little more, by wandering through my dreams
I'm afraid I will close my eyes inside of you
JJ/JS: Don’t go, Don’t leave me; YC: Can’t you stay by my side
JJ/JS: Lies, all lies; JJ: Everything, I can’t hear
JS/YC: I love you, I love you; JJ: Can’t you show me that just one word
JS/YC: I love you, I love you; JS: Will you love me once more
YC: Time already passed like this. I try looking for your traces but they are erased
The last memories of you are locked in the rims of my tears
JS: Just end it, end me- if you're not going to be next to me
I'm sorry but I'll leave now- following your footsteps
JJ: Following the road with no end- as I wander to find you
I'm afraid I will lose you and be sad
JJ/JS: Don’t go, Don’t leave me; YC: Can’t you stay by my side
JJ/JS: Lies, all lies; JJ: Everything, I can’t hear
JS/YC: I love you, I love you; JJ: Can’t you show me that just one word
JS/YC: I love you, I love you; JS: Will you love me once more
JYJ:
Don't leave, don't leave- can't you stay?
Lies, lies, I don't hear anything
I love you, I love you- can't you show me?
Can't you love me, love me, love me?
Don't leave, don't leave- can't you stay?
Lies, lies, I don't hear anything
I love you, I love you- can't you show me?
Please come back
JJ/JS: Don’t go, Don’t leave me; YC: Can’t you stay by my side
JJ/JS: Lies, all lies; JJ: Everything, I can’t hear
JS/YC: I love you, I love you; JJ: Can’t you show me that just one word
JS/YC: I love you, I love you; JS: Will you love me once more
TT____TT

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Ibrah for the week

Assalamualaikum, this is my very first original post on things we should know, as a muslim and God willing, practice it in our everyday lives. May be that I’m not the right person to tell you all of these, but this would act as a reminder for you and (especially) for me as well.
Actually, this was supposed to be told during kulsem (a college thingy done in the surau), but other people have their own stories to tell, and let just put it this way; I was too afraid to speak up in front of the public. :S
So, here I am, and I’ll start with a story to tell.
I used to wear hijab, since kindergarten times, due to my father’s wish. So, it was pretty much out of compulsion so as to why I wear hijab in the very first place.
okay, xde la cute macam ni =.=;;;
However, when I entered primary school, my ustaz was advising the ones who don’t wear hijab, and was explaining to us this: “if you wear your hijab, you will get your reward for good deeds (pahala), Allah will pay you worthily. So, if you wear hijab in school, you will get your pahala for that amount of time you wear your hijab in school.” Giving the example of: if you wear your hijab to school, that would gain you a 7 hours’ worth of pahala (and only Allah knows how much it is).
So, being very excited about the news, I wear my hijab for the rest of my primary school years, all the way to secondary school. Up to that point, I only wear hijab when I’m in school, and that’s it. When I’m out shopping, go to the tuition and go to places, I don’t wear it.
When I reached the age that I’d be going to the college, a sudden realization hits me. I’ve been a hypocrite since I’m in kindergarten up to this point. That’s it! I’m gonna quit all this. So, with that in my mind, I entered college free-haired.
However, the environment changed my thoughts. So, I decided to wear hijab with the intention to follow the majority of the girls here (follow with the flow) plus, it feels kind of weird, learning without wearing a hijab, after all those years I’ve been wearing it to school. But, still, I don’t wear it if I’m outside of the college.
Nevertheless, I tried to wear it when I’m outside of the college and Alhamdulillah, now, I’m wearing hijab full-time and last raya was the first raya I celebrated it wearing hijab. Everyone in my kampung was surprised with my “transformation” and I find it funny when I reminisce the times when I’m in kampung, rushing to get my hijab when my uncles went back home from their work. ;)
This story relates to something told by my friend that: to do something, you have to do it out of compulsion, first. If forever you want to wait for Allah’s hidayah, only then you would want to change, if He decided to not give it to you, would you want to stay jahiliyah forever and blame Allah for it? By the time you are dead, would you want to die in jahiliyah? This particular thing was further explained by another friend of mine that said: doing something not from our own willingness is called tarbiyah; you are teaching yourselves to become better and insyaAllah someday it would be part of our akhlak. By that time, you would do the good things spontaneously because you have been teaching/ forcing yourself all this while and that if you don’t do it, it would feel weird because it has already become a part of you.
An ayat from the Quran to reflect (An-Nisa’ 4:137)
Sesungguhnya, orang-orang yang beriman lalu kafir, kemudian beriman (lagi), kemudian kafir lagi, lalu bertambah kekafirannya, maka Allah tidak akan mengampuni mereka, dan tidak (pula) menunjukkan mereka jalan (yang lurus).
Alhamdulillah, I want to state here that I’m thankful to Allah to place me in KMB. Even though the workload gets sometimes unmanageable that I would want to quit so badly, but I learnt more than what I’ve been learning for almost 12 years in just 2 years, Alhamdulillah.
But, to reflect with what happened in the pavilion today, I’m kind of disappointed+embarrassed+stunned+flabbergasted. What happened today would be considered as normal in any other schools, but not KMB. It was our college’s sport carnival and the crowd, I would say, got uncontrollable, or to put it in another way, wild.
Girls were dancing around shamelessly (in front of guys some more), jeering, and doing all sorts of other things that one would not expect out of a KMB student, particularly a girl.
I told this story to my sister, and she being the student of other college cannot believe it. “serious?? habislah mesti kakak2 usrah kau menangis”. She is aware with KMB’s environment and she knows how we work things around here and what she said might probably be true.
It was simply unacceptable and what more is unacceptable, in the midst of all that, I captured a familiar culture, once I had gone through before this. It turns out a junior of mine was bringing the culture of “cheering” to the crowd. She was supported by a few of her friends.

Told this to my sister (again) and here’s a few extracts of what we had conversed: Miss C might probably wanted to be a cheerleader so bad, but in CBN she was too fat to join in. Sebab tulah kat KMB gian nak masuk cheer. Lepas tu over pulak.
In CBN, it was very normal for us to cheer the team we’re on sampai terkeluar anak tekak (sorry, it would be best if I explained this in malay). In fact, if we had our sport’s day or cheer comp, the next day, EVERYONE would have sore throat.
spot me in this picture ;D
But reality check, here is KMB. It would be nice if we treat KMB as what Ustazah once said: a bi’ah, a place to do good deeds. If we’re wild outside of college, then be wild outside of college, but please respect KMB as it is. To relate it with what I’ve mentioned before, Allah will reward us worthily, so if you do good deeds, even just in KMB, Allah will insyaAllah reward you, even for the tiniest deed you’re doing. This is all a reminder to me and insyaAllah to everyone else who are reading this.
I’ll end this post with another ayat from the Quran (Al-Baqarah 2:208)
Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Masuklah ke dalam Islam secara keseluruhan, dan janganlah kamu mengikuti langkah-langkah syaitan. Sungguh, ia musuh yang nyata bagimu.
Till next time, annyeong!

I don’t care

Yes, I don’t care.
This entry would be about my rants on college life.
The story starts when yesterday, Miss B got into my room and had a ‘confrontation’ with Miss R.
It was about the same exact situation that I experienced because of Ms. L and dear Miss R, but I don’t feel anything towards them, not like what Miss B felt.
And for that, I was labeled as someone who doesn’t care about others and anything else except for herself or in short, as I interpreted it—a selfish. What the…? Straight to my face some more!
Well, there are a few reasons for that actually. Firstly, I don’t care about you guys because I don’t like your names. I know, it might sound silly, but I really cannot stand befriending people with certain names, and people who are short. If you differentiate people because of their races, you’re called racist, but I don’t know what you’d call people like me.
However, I must inform you guys here that I don’t make that decision there and then; this is after MANY experiences with people with that certain names, starting from primary school up to now. (Seriously, my hypothesis always works; they are either snobbish, rude or don’t care about other people’s feelings). And that’s why I always have a distance with these people. I don’t want to be hurt, again. I don’t even want to try, to be close with you guys.
Back to the confrontation story. So, according to Miss B, her feelings was hurt because of these two people, being their lovey-dovey self, looked at her, then looked at each other and then laugh. She thought they were laughing at her. Well, I’ve encountered this same thing many times before, and don’t feel a thing.
Then a sudden thought hits me. Am I that feelingless? Should I feel anything, if they act like that? I seriously, don’t care if they do that to me.
Plus, Miss B was like “I’m tired. I’m tired trying to fit in with you guys.” So, why bother? I don’t even talk to them, if they are together. If they are in my room, I don’t even try to initiate small talks with them. What for? (okay I sounded so selfish here T.T)
This brings me to a memory when I’m new to the college, particularly to M10J, “I’m actually a shy person. But, I can be VERY friendly when I’m close to someone. So, don’t be afraid to approach me first.” And that doesn’t bring any problems for them, to come, and initiate the communication, to befriend with me, and to come to this stage, where our bonds are stronger than ever, that I feel if I lose any of them, it’s like losing my parents, or any of my husbands. I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM.

So, I think the problem here is Miss B was being overly sensitive. And that, me and my R should stay like this, even if we are not close to each other like other Rs would do. (I think it’s better this way. Sorry abah, I don’t have the courage to confront her, like you told me to do, and like what Miss B had done).
On a side note, when Miss B did the confrontation with Miss R, I thought, okay, I’m not the only one having problem with this kid. My hypothesis works, yet again. T.T
I’m an introverted person, yet that can be changed.
To change that situation, you have to know me well enough.
To know me, you have to approach me first, cuz you and I, both know, I won’t.
I do have feelings too you know, even if I have this “I don’t give a damn” look.
I have a lot of jealousy, if you befriend others more than you do to me, then I’m gonna “mengundurkan diri” and let you be with that best friend of yours.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to befriend with you anymore, it’s just, I’m not gonna treat you like what I used to do.
Because I’m afraid to lose you. If you are to become closer with that friend, you might not want me anymore. So, it’s better if I leave you first, so that you won’t hurt me.
I’m a sensitive person. I do care. But I try to not care, because I don’t want to hurt myself. Because I know if I’m hurt, I don’t have anyone to turn to. Yes, I’m a loner.
I hate to end this post with a sad note. But, that’s the way it is. Okay, enough with the procrastinating. I got Biology to revise. What a weekend. It’s not even a slightest bit productive. =.=
Ya Allah, please give me strength to go through all this!
Till next time, annyeong!